We've got a few more "unique" strains of viruses out here in California
(don't worry, most require a warm, polluted, overpopulated climate to
survive) -
San Andreas Virus - computer shakes violently for about 20-45 seconds.
Occasional shaking occurs randomly for the next few months.
Zuma Beach Virus - "duuude" gets appended to all text files.
405 Virus - the hard drive slows to a crawl whenever user is in a hurry.
No effect when time is of no consequence.
Smog Alert Virus - soundcard emits a choking sound and monitor becomes
bloodshot.
King Virus - LAPD come by and beat the crap out of your computer.
Simpson Virus - your computer deletes a couple of files unexpectedly,
dominates all net traffic for 14 months and then announces that it is
searching for another virus.
NFL Virus - all data in LA is uploaded to other cities.
Beach Dwellers Virus - machine looks great but CPU doesn't work. Not to
be confused with the...
Valley Girl Virus - machine has all the lastest icons but CPU doesn't
work. Also, computer wants to go the mall, a lot.
Rodeo Drive Virus - Land lines no longer work. A cellular modem is now
required. All periphials need to be upgraded to most expensive models
available.
Hipster Virus - all data transmitted via a pager.
Teenage Virus - machine spends enourmous amounts of time on-line, wants
to drive the car. Also note that machine becomes either inactive and
quiet OR loud and disagreeable in presence of adults. (Warning - this
virus not limited to SoCal!)
Be on the lookout,
Dave Druitt
Senior Systems Engineer
Unix Specialist
Sysorex Information Systems
(usual disclaimer)
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erotic: using a feather as a sex toy
kinky: using the whole duck!
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